Guys i need your opinion!

Here is a song i wrote about my girlfriend.
I know, gay? Just read it. I gotta have it done in one week for my drama class. Yes i know, i take summer drama classes. I gott right a love song for the "special" someone. Now Think about a tune that could go with it.
Here it is.
------
{chorus}
Oh hayley!
I think about you daily!
i never stop thinkin bout you...
Oh hayley!
I think about you daily!

{body}
I really never stop thinkin bout you...
Thats why
I say, I love you every day!
Everytime were out to dinner you always make me pay!
but only cuz i love you!
But only, cuz i love you!
were stting in the park.
Holding hands in the dark.
That wen, you whisper in my eaar...
I love you!
I love you evryday!
yess....everydayy!
everyday!

{chorus}
Oh hayley!
I think about you daily!
i never stop thinkin bout you...
Oh hayley!
I think about you daily!

{bridge}
when i stop, and think about you.
When i stop and think about all the things you said.
when i stop and think about you.
I start to think are they really true?
but thats when...i sing..

{chorus}

Oh hayley!
I think about you daily!
i never stop thinkin bout you...
Oh hayley!
I think about you daily!
{end}
Thats why i wrote this song..
cuz it was only...foorr, yooooouuu!
ooh wooah, ooh wooah,wooahh!
(fades out)

TELL ME WHAT U THINK!
BE BRUTAL!!
I want you honest opinion

wow dude that's cool i like it i like the bit were it goes sumit like
u make me [ay because i love you.!! hehe :d
well my opion i like it well done mate.!

For the song to go with it get like a little beat box beat.. GOOD JOB!!!

Nice job. I never thought of writing a song like that, nice job though. It's cool you take drama.

All I can do it paintball and like throw a ball really far, and that won't help me in any way lol. So yeah

Great ass song! ;]

xxmagerpwnxx wrote:

Nice job. I never thought of writing a song like that, nice job though. It's cool you take drama.

All I can do it paintball and like throw a ball really far, and that won't help me in any way lol. So yeah

Great ass song! ;]

Well u have a ball and u see this gang really far running towards u to jump u
well look at that it did help u lmfao
And AMAZING song nice :]

Haha, So I guess I'm worth something after all! ;]

Ily jamieee :]

hey nice looks/sounds like a nickelback song..or something they would sing about o.o

I am going to be 100% honest.

if i had to grade that, i would give you a 60/100.

and dont take this offencivly

it just sounds kinda corny...

yet again i couldn't write a song any better...

just a few pointers...